Disclaimer & Terms of Use
 
Effective Date: August 14, 2025

Let's be adults for a second. The content on this website is a performance. It's an act. By accessing and using this website, you acknowledge that you understand the joke and agree to the legally binding terms and conditions outlined below.
1. For Entertainment & Satirical Purposes Only
This website and all of its content, including but not limited to articles, videos, podcasts, music, products, and social media posts (collectively, the "Content"), are provided for entertainment, parody, and satirical purposes only. The persona of "Darrell the Safety Man," the concept of "Mandatory Safety Training," and any associated "advice," "directives," or "intelligence" are entirely fictional.

This is not real advice. The Content should not, under any circumstances, be construed as professional, financial, legal, medical, or actual safety advice. Do not attempt, replicate, or follow any of the "training" or "directives" presented. Reliance on any information provided on this website is solely at your own risk. Seriously, don't be an idiot.

2. Fictional Character
The character known as "Darrell the Safety Man" is a fictional creation and a persona. The name, likeness, voice, opinions, and statements attributed to this character are part of a satirical performance and do not represent the actual views, opinions, or positions of the website's owners, employees, or affiliates.
3. Intellectual Property Rights & Ownership
All Content on this website is the sole and exclusive property of Sam Goodman the Hop Nerd LLC.

The character "Darrell the Safety Man," including his name, likeness, and associated concepts, is a trademark and copyrighted work belonging exclusively to Sam Goodman the Hop Nerd LLC. All text, graphics, logos, audio, video, and other materials are protected by United States and international copyright, trademark, and other intellectual property laws.

Unauthorized use, copying, reproduction, modification, republication, distribution, display, or transmission of any Content or the "Darrell the Safety Man" character is strictly prohibited without the prior express written permission of Sam Goodman the Hop Nerd LLC.

4. Limitation of Liability & No Warranties
This website and its Content are provided on an "as is" and "as available" basis without any warranties of any kind, either express or implied.

In no event shall Sam Goodman, the Hop Nerd LLC, its members, employees, or affiliates be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages (including, without limitation, damages for loss of profits, goodwill, or any other intangible loss) arising out of or in connection with your access to, use of, or inability to use this website or its Content, whether based on warranty, contract, tort (including negligence), or any other legal theory.

5. Indemnification
You agree to defend, indemnify, and hold harmless Sam Goodman the Hop Nerd LLC and its affiliates, officers, and employees from and against any and all claims, damages, obligations, losses, liabilities, costs, or debt, and expenses (including but not limited to attorney's fees) arising from your use of and access to the website, or your violation of any term of this disclaimer.

6. Acceptance of Terms
By accessing, browsing, or using this website, you acknowledge that you have read, understood, and agree to be bound by these terms and conditions. If you do not agree with any part of this disclaimer, you must immediately cease all use of this website.